Dating and Social Media

The pressure on relationships in today’s day and age is more intense than we ever imagined. Isn’t falling in love supposed to be easy? It should be!

But, society has made that concept extremely difficult for us to believe, and it’s not all wrong. Let’s talk through some touchy subjects when it comes to dating, and the struggles that tend to come along with it.

SOCIAL MEDIA – From an outside perspective, social media has put a lot of pressure on couples in many ways. There are few honest, successful couples that portray great role models for us, and the generations following them. BUT, In most cases, we are lead to believe in unrealistic “goals” that have now been altering what you genuinely need from a relationship. 

This can start from a financial point of view. How they act/look like to the public eye and what they need to portray on the social platforms out there. This could cause tension and unrealistic expectations of each other. Social media could also cause a drift in focus and loyalty as we tend to ask ourselves “is there someone better?”

Managing these thoughts and expectations that cause us to drift away from our genuine relationship needs can be a difficult thing to grasp.

But, here are a few things to help you start working through it!

1. Understanding how to set limits and challenge the reality of your belief system is one key to managing unrealistic expectations set up by social media.
   – Be mindful and aware of how much time is spent on social media is the first step to managing how much of it is influencing thoughts and behaviors in a negative way. Once you can stop yourself to be present and aware, then you can ask yourself if your perception or beliefs about someone are skewed because of what is being portrayed.
   – Always pay attention to how someone behaves, how to do they speak to friends, family, strangers. Versus what type of image they put on social media. While social media can be a good outlet for challenging yourself to explore expression, it can also be a good mask to hide behind and may be designed to deflect authenticity. Rather than rely on social media for insight into someone’s character or personality, spend time asking them thoughtful questions and notice how you feel about what they say and how they behave.
   – Trust your gut! 

2. Emotional walls & bottling up – because of all the “what ifs” that could happen above, couples are scared to be themselves. No one says how they really feel anymore! Why is that? Well, the communication in relationships is failing. This causes stress, frustration, resentment, and so on! So, how do we fix it?

The trick to feelings is to get comfortable with the understanding that they come and go and you have power over how they affect you.

Many people are afraid to express feelings because they often come out with intensity. Understanding that an emotion is meant to be moved through and expressed in constructive ways can take the fear out of confronting them. True integration of mental, physical, and emotional health comes when a person can control and move through uncomfortable feelings.

This balance will create confidence and self-control. When two people can give each other the freedom to manage and express their emotions then communication in a relationship becomes healthy and productive, thereby reducing the fear.